Tycho Brahe

"That's a fucking epic mustache, Tycho" - Sir Francis Bacon

Inspired by a conversation I had with a friend from afar, I decided to investigate the death of Tycho Brahe. I remembered his name from my high school physics class with Mr. Applegate, but was unaware of the details of his life until I stumbled upon this link:

http://www.scientificblogging.com/geeks039_guide_world_domination/great_thinkers_who_met_tragicomically_gruesome_ends

So, who's Tycho Brahe, you ask?

Well, I'll tell you. But only if you're patient.

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Okay, you've waited long enough.

Tycho Brahe was a Danish astronomer, astrologer and alchemist from the sixteenth-century. He was the mentor of Johannes Kepler (zoiks!) and is famous for quite a few things:

1. The Tychonic Geo-heliocentric system of Planetary Orbit
2. Contributions of herbal medicines used well into the 1900s
3. Losing part of his nose in a duel with Manderup Parsberg, a danish nobleman, over who was the best mathematician
4. Getting a moose drunk

Oh, Tycho Tycho Tycho. Is that what geniuses do for fun? Go to the National Honor Society kegger on a school night--moose in tow--toke on some "herbal medicines" and fight Pythagoras' students 'cuz you think the theorem is dumb?

And what's more--you pushed that moose down the stairs, didn't you Tycho?

You bastard.

You know what? Maybe you did the world a favor holding it in at the King's cocktail party while he jabbered on about leaving behind an honorable legacy and slid his hand up the wenches' skirts. I can just picture you, standing there, doing the pee-pee dance. Sucker.

Tycho, you were such a bro. In a bad way. But I think I would get a kick out of writing your epitaph. Where's my time machine?

--Chelsea